By: Dove
—
Here is a new trailer for Warner Bros. The Dark Knight Rises, slated for theatrical release on July 20, 2012. This is an even darker look than the second trailer gave us, and more incentive to get to the theater! Could this be Batman’s last stand? Watch and enjoy!

CLICK HERE to watch the second trailer

By: Dove
—

When the world first met socialite and real life basketball wife DeShawn Snow in the debut of Bravo TV’s Real Housewives of Atlanta in 2008, we were ready for major drama. But by the end of the first season, the supremely mellow Snow was ousted for being too normal. Fast forward to 2012, and Snow has coped with more off-screen drama in the past two years than anyone could script for television, even for a reality show.

Despite a very public divorce from now retired NBA player Eric Snow, DeShawn has managed to pick up the pieces for herself and her family in the most positive ways. And it didn’t hurt that she succeeded in dropping over 30-pounds at one of the most difficult times in her life.

Since her departure from RHOA, DeShawn has been building up her DeShawn Snow Foundation, which focuses on mentoring tween and teen girls. She launched a children’s book line, Lil Shawnee, promoting self-esteem for girls at even younger ages. Additionally, Snow has an adult book, a teen book series some television production plans and more in the works, all while taking care of her three growing boys.

In this exclusive interview, UrbLife.com puts DeShawn Snow in our Parent Trap to discuss the challenges of family communication through divorce, managing personal business with her sons before the blogs get ahold of it, the inspiration from relatives for writing her books and more. Read on…

Tell us a little bit about your kids. How old are they and what are your greatest joys about having them?

Deshawn Snow: I have three boys and they are 10, 13, and 9. The greatest joys… that unconditional love we have for each other, especially during this last year and everything. They are like my rock, they are the one solid thing. In life sometimes people go through things, they have their children and say, “This is the one thing I did right.” I thank God for these blessings.

Considering that your oldest is already a teen and your other two aren’t far behind, do you have any apprehensions about the hormonal teen thing?

DS: Oh yeah! We are going through that now. He just turned 13 in October. I didn’t have any brothers, I have all sisters, I am a girly girl and I am not that experienced with teen boys, and it’s totally different. He went from not caring about how he looks to being totally into what he wears, and is definitely into the girls. He’s so opinionated. He’s a typical teen from what they say.

Girls go through changes, but it’s definitely different from boys.

DS: It’s definitely different. It just seemed like he grew overnight. He’s as tall as I am now; his voice is deeper. I can still look in his face and see my little baby. We have a good relationship, [but] of course he’s closer with his father. Eric and I do share custody, so the boys go back and forth between houses week to week.

Actually, EJ stays longer with Eric because he’s at this stage where he needs to spend more time with is father. Aside from Eric being able to relate to him as a young man, he can help him manage sports and school.

On Real Housewives of Atlanta, you struck me as a girl’s girl. You like being out with your girlfriends, you love your charity work, and things that are very social about being a woman in general. So when you are out with your boys, what are some activities you do with them that might compromise what you like to do as a woman?

DS: Well, if we are out playing sports, obviously. I never played sports in high school or anything like that. I’ve been around it enough, so I sort of learned to play the game by default. They are always laughing at me – it’s always comedy hour when we all get together.

We definitely have different views on the ideal day so we have to compromise. I like to go bowling, to the movies, little things like that. They prefer to go to the park, play ball, etc. So we talk about it.

Unfortunately your marriage ended, but you are working things out [to move on]. What has the growth process for you been like, and how have you talked to your kids about the separation and pain they might go through?

DS: What I think I’m trying to teach them is that things happen in life. It might throw you for a loop, it might knock you down, but the key is to get back up and to keep going through it. Ultimately God is in control of everything. So even if you don’t like what’s going on and it sucks, God never ends on a negative note. So it’s the end of your chapter, but not the end of your story.

Fortunately they get to spend equal time with their father. When they are with me, I am forced to get up and do what I have to do. When they are not with me, I can have time to process things in my own way and go through what I need to go through, It’s impossible to mask my feelings all of the time around them. They certainly can sense that mommy is sad sometimes, but they also are learning that they have to get out and do whatever they need to do, regardless of what is going on.

It’s got to be hard to have some of your life played out on TV and on the internet, and to have gossip spread about you. How do handle that with your kids? Do you have discussions with them or do you try to shelter them?

DS: When Eric filed for divorce, we talked to the kids first, because we knew it would be part of the media. Since my oldest son is in middle school, it affected him the most. Initially, he was having issues at school because people were saying things. But we were honest with him and he knew what was going on.

Even though the stories reported were not factually correct, we explained to him that people were going to form their own opinion regardless and there was no need to defend himself, his father, or me-just as we didn’t go on twitter or blogs to defend ourselves.

Let’s talk about your books. What were your focus groups to get the stories together?

DS: I have nieces and friends who have girls, not to mention I have boys in the same grades that the books target; so I understand the level of peer pressure and the type of things girls are exposed to at much earlier age. I felt it was necessary to start planting seeds in girls younger than the girls I serve in my foundation.

Do you see yourself continuing on with the series? What’s your goal with these books?

DS: Absolutely. My ultimate goal is to have a full line of chapter books. I got the first three out, but I want to put one out every six months or so. One or two a year. I also want to have a merchandise line and an animated series. Those are my ultimate goals.

What are some things you want to do within the next couple of years for yourself?

DS: I would like to expand the Lil Shawnee brand with additional books, a merchandising line, and an animated series. Additionally, we are currently pitching my adult book Drawing Strength, and teen book series, Vanderbilt High, to different publishers, so I hope to have a home for those soon.

I also have television projects that I am pitching, so I hope to be back on TV. Through these various platforms I can continue to empower, encourage, and enrich the lives of girls and women.

Find out more about DeShawn Snow at DeShawnSnow.com and her children’s books at LilShawnee.com

Follow DeShawn on Twitter @DeShawnSnow and @LilShawneeBooks, and like her at Facebook.com/DeshawnSnow and Facebook.com/LilShawneeBooks

By: Isha “Ice” Cole
—
The earnings of professional athletes have skyrocketed over the past few decades, and they are now raking in millions of dollars through salaries, endorsements and other ventures. It’s natural that anyone with more than six zeros in their bank account can anticipate some drama, but who cares when the money keeps rolling in? It all comes down to the bottom line.

Michael Jordan is an example of one superstar Gen-Xer who paved the way for big checks. We all know the power in the  Jumpman logo and the mayhem that ensues when a new Jordan sneaker is released! Even retired, MJ’s net-worth is over $500 million dollars today and counting. But who is still caking out on the court?

According to Forbes 2011 Highest Paid Athletes list, there are active players of all ages raking in the dough, but Gen-Xer’s (born 1961-1981) do make up some of the top slots.

Based on that info, here is UrbLife.com‘s list of active top-earning Gen-X sports stars from around the world! Of course all figures are approximate, and some of the life drama noted below could possibly affect this list in the next few months. Yikes! Read on…

1. Tiger Woods (b. 1975) – Golf
Net Worth: $500 Million +

Tiger Woods has had many up and downs in the past few years, but that does not take away his spot at the top of this money making athletes chat.

When Tiger first turned pro in the ’90s Nike signed him to a five-year $40 million dollar deal, and a few years later Electronic Arts released the Tiger Woods PGA Tour video game. That was only the beginning of the Tiger Woods takeover that would later include other sponsors like Rolex, PGA Tour, and Upper Deck.

The 2009 cheating scandal hit Tiger’s wallet hard. Not only did he lose a few sponsors, but his ex-wife was awarded $110 million dollars in their divorce settlement. Regardless, the Woods empire still allowed him to become the first athlete to earn a cumulative one billion bucks. Now that’s winning!

2. Michael Schumacher (b. 1969) – Racing
Net Worth: $400 Million +

German-born Michael Schumacher enjoys the fast car lifestyle, and was once the highest paid race car driver in the world. In 2004 he earned $80 million dollars, 40 million of which came from Ferrari alone.

Schumacher has a very impressive list of endorsements including Jet Set, Navy Boot, Audemars Piguet and Schuberth. Currently, the seven time F1 World Champion now races for the Mercedes GP Petronas Formula One Team.

3. Kobe Bryant (b. 1978) – Basketball
Net Worth: $300 Million +

Kobe Bryant the best player in the NBA, arguably, and the star forward of the Los Angeles Lakers had to be towards the top of this list. In the 15 years that Bryant has been ballin’ in the league, he’s accomplished numerous accolades including five NBA Championships.

Bringing in an over $25 million salary from his team, Bryant’s endorsements include Nike, Sprite, Turkish Airlines and Mercedes-Benz Smart Car in China. But don’t count too fast… a divorce settlement could possibly shake his pockets!

At the end of 2011, Bryant’s wife Vanessa filed for a divorce, and she’s set to receive $75 million dollars from the settlement. Hmm, but the two were recently caught kissing, so maybe they’ll reconcile! We’ll just have to wait in see if love triumphs all and saves Bryant some mills at the same time!

4. Alex Rodriguez (b. 1975) – Baseball
Net Worth: $300 Million +

New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez is a guaranteed heavy hitter, breaking all types of records on the field, as well as behind the scenes with huge contracts. In 1994 the New York native began his Major League Baseball career with the Seattle Mariners, where he stayed for seven seasons.

So here comes the big money! In 2000 Rodriguez signed a 10-year $252 million dollar contract with the now bankrupt Texas Rangers. He was traded to the New York Yankees years later, and in 2007 he signed another huge contract in the amount of  $275 million dollars for 10 years.

Today, Rodriguez is the highest paid player in Major League Baseball, and his endorsements have included Nike in South America and PepsiCo (before he was dropped after admitting to using PED). And hopefully he’ll see the $24.9 million dollars that he’s still owed from the Rangers.

5. David Beckham (b. 1975) – Soccer
Net Worth: $219 Million +

British heartthrob David Beckham has it all, from great looks and superb talent, to a happy family and large amounts of income piling in to the bank. In 1995 Beckham started with the Premier League playing for Manchester United, he then played for Real Madrid four seasons before moving to Los Angeles Galaxy in 2007.  In 2010 alone, Beckham’s income from personal sponsorship deals rose 30 percent.

Beckham is involved in many ventures, including his various fragrances, and last year he signed an agreement with Samsung to become the company’s global brand ambassador for the London Olympic Games. Most recently, Beckham’s hot body was seen in a 2012 Superbowl ad for his new Bodywear collection for H&M.

CLICK HERE to read David Beckham’s “Stylevolution” on UrbLife.com

6. Phil Mikelson (b. 1970) – Golf
Net Worth: $180 Million +

What will Phil do next? That’s the advertising campaign that Ford created for Golf star Phil Mickelson eight years ago, which explains how much he strives to succeed.

Besides winning 22 PGA Tour events, he’s also played in more than 40 major championships in his 20 years as a professional Golfer. Companies have jumped at the chance to use the Phil Mickelson name to brand their product.

Mickelson first endorsement contract was with Rolex, followed by Barclays, ExxonMobil and Gold Digest, among others. He was also tapped as the spokesman for pharmaceutical companies Amgen and Pfizer, makers of Enbrel, which Mickelson uses to treat his Psoriatic Arthritis.

7. Roger Federer (b. 1981) – Tennis
Net Worth: $150 Million +

When Roger Federer began playing tennis at the age of eight, who would have known that he would become a worldwide Tennis phenom. In 2010, Federer won his 16th Grand Slam single title at the Australian Open and as he continued to win, more money started coming in!

Federer was also named the Laureus World Sportsman of the Year in 2005 to 2008 consecutively. The Switzerland native is on top of the professional Tennis cash list, with endorsements including Nike, Credit Suisse, Rolex and Wilson!

Honorable Mention

Tom Brady (b. 1977) – Football
Net Worth: $100 Million +

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady had a great season in 2011-2012, but he could not cap of the season with a win in the big game versus the New York Giants. But he has nothing to complain about with the dollar signs he’s seeing.

In 2010, the three-time Superbowl champion and two-time league MVP signed a four-year $72 million dollar contract extension with the Patriots. The contract was the NFL’s richest deal on an annual basis. Despite the Superbowl loss, Brady made about $10 million in endorsements in 2011.

*All net worth figures are approximate.

By: Dove
—
As the CEO of one of the most established independent music companies of our day, Ted Lucas rarely gets a moment to breathe anything but business. Lucas founded Slip-n-Slide Records in 1994 in Miami, Florida, and has since sold over 16 million records through the label. From his first signee Trick Daddy to his most recent success with Rick Ross, Lucas has set a definitive pace for label executives working outside of Los Angeles and New York.

Lucas has reached out regularly to his community to seek out new talent and young people to mentor in business. Through his efforts, he found some serious problems with the learning process in his local Miami-Dade County schools. To help turn his community around, Lucas started the Ted Lucas Foundation, and has made strides in helping kids boost their grades.

In this exclusive interview, Ted Lucas tells UrbLife.com why he feels it is so important to help kids when they are young, how he has applied the best career advice he received, and more! Read on…

Looking back over the course of your career, what would you say is some of your biggest accomplishments?

Ted Lucas: When Miami was known for Luther Campbell and booty shaking kind of music, to take artists such as Trick Daddy, Trina and Rick Ross… to make them become these stars when Miami didn’t have that [sound] on the map. To accomplish that is truly a blessing. To take the vision of what I saw in the artists, to be able to help them take care of their families is a blessing, to be a blessing to someone else.

We created a lane. It’s not like we started in a market where people knew of Miami for gangsta rap, or whatever you want to call it, just Hip Hop… it wasn’t known for that. We knocked down a lot of walls and barriers to get over it to make it happen.

What is the biggest reality check you had in your career?

TL: One of the biggest things that someone told me was that, “No one is going to want it more than you, so you’re going to have to want it more than everyone else.” You can’t put it in the hands of someone else or depend on someone else to get it done. You have to want it. If you want it, then you have to go out and get it, and then everyone else will follow.

It made me understand, when I first got my hit record I was like, “I did it.” No, I didn’t do anything, because now you have to start over and do it again and again and again. That was some of the best advice that I have ever received. That’s the part of this business that is challenging.

What are some things that your company has done to keep up with the digital age?

TL: You basically have to take that same philosophy you had on the streets and now do it on the internet. You have to control internet marketing and make sure your online marketing is on point to feed the customers, because now it’s a lot faster.

Before, we had to stay up all night putting up posters and people would wake up in the morning to see it. Now you’ve got to stay up all night on the internet and make sure your artists are present on different sites. People wake up and check the internet and [the artist's] presence is there, and people know where they are. You’ve got to make these people on these different sites and bring them into your artist’s world, and get them to know your artists and believe in them.

Tell us a little about the Ted Lucas Foundation, and what you’re hoping to accomplish in your community.

TL: I was born and raised near Miami, and one day I saw a kid that was playing little league football and this kid was really dominating little league football. He was getting ready to pick the high school that he was going to, and it was brought to my attention that [because of] his grades, it was not possible for him to play high school football, that really touched my heart. I said, “Wow, how did this happen and how did he get here?”

I went home one night and it was really bothering me. We allow kids that are great athletes to keep getting by, but they can’t read and write. Life doesn’t stop after that little league football, they have to go on and get an education and go to college and do the best for themselves. Just throwing a football and hitting a baseball doesn’t stop that. It touched me.

I said, “How many other kids from my community are struggling from this?” They’re not able to pass the SAT or the FCAT [Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test]. You have the opportunity to be something in life, so I took it upon myself and went to visit the elementary school that I attended.

When I got there, they were in the process of closing the school, and they told me that the school was a D school. The school board was talking about closing the school down, because for the last three years they’ve been coming back as a D and F school. An elementary school, talking about from 1st grade to 6th grade, and you’re telling me that you’re averaging a D? It was sad and I couldn’t believe it, that really bothered me.

I put a lot of effort and my time because we have to do something. Last year, we were able to take that same school and turn it into a C school. I brought back other people that went to that elementary school that went on to be successful in life, to throw something back to these kids – that you made it through that same neighborhood, same elementary school, that you can help these kids by letting them know. You’re a doctor now, you’re an attorney now, you’re a great athlete and you went on to play in the NFL, but you went to these same schools.

It doesn’t stop right here, look how important education was to them. Every year I find different people that attended my elementary school, and I bring them back to pour into the school and other elementary schools in the Miami-Dade community to let these kids know how important education is.

My foundation, I really make sure that we focus on education first, then take the kids out and showing them other things in life, because life is a lot bigger than going to school and playing around. I want to challenge a couple of people in the music industry. Instead of playing sports against each other, let’s play how can we go in and help these kids with their education around the country.

It’s very important to me, that’s our future. Nobody made me sit down and do my homework and let me know how important [it would be to] go to college and try to be something in life. Focus on those ABCs and 123s and that would determine how your life was going to go… a lot of people don’t understand that it starts with those numbers and the alphabet. If we don’t get that first then we don’t have anything.

Reading and writing, that’s where it starts. You need to know how to do that to fill out your application for your bank account. You have to be able read and write to fill out a checkbook. A lot of kids are 25-years-old and never opened up a bank account, because they ran away from it. If you can go the young kids and catch it there and get them on the right track, then they might want to go to college.

If we stop learning in the 3rd or 4th grade and now we’re behind, we’re in the 6th grade but we’re reading on the 1st grade level, they’re done. They’re not interested anymore because they got so far behind, [like], “Why would I want a scholarship when I can’t make it junior high school?” I try to catch the problem before it gets out of hand.

If you listen to some of these kids, they’re like, “Can you just give my mom a bed?” I challenge the kids, I tell them, “Listen last year you didn’t pass the FCAT, if you pass it this year I’ll give you three things on the list that you wish for.” When you have a kid say, “Just give my mom a car so she won’t have to catch the bus anymore” or “the lights haven’t been on in the house for a year, can you just turn the lights on…” It’s real.

It touched me and it made me make my foundation be responsible to get back out there. I didn’t expect [to hear] that, I expected the same thing you did… a bike or an iPad. They’re some serious things that these kids deal with. They have to get to school to focus on education, but when they get home they don’t have any electricity. I found that a lot of the kids are being raised by their grandmother. A lot in my community were in foster homes.

I’m just trying to help them stay focused and go in the right direction. I don’t want to be known for the guy that did music, I want to be known for going back to the community and making a difference.

If someone were to come to you and say that they want to do what you do, what is the best advice you would give them outside of education?

TL: If you really want to do this, you can’t want it more than anybody else wants it for you. You have to be the one that wants it for you. You have to dig down deep. When I first started, I didn’t want to meet with no [corporate] man. To tell you the truth, I had six golds at the top and six golds at the bottom, and I wanted to pay my employees to go meet with the attorneys and the marketing person, because I just wanted to stay in the background. I was from the hood, and I didn’t want them stereotyping me.

There was a lady by the name of Debbie Bennett, and she said, “If you don’t take the meetings Ted, then we will not make it happen.” That was some of the best advice that she gave me, because I had to get off of my butt. Now I go meet with these different corporate people. I wouldn’t say that I was afraid [back then], but they’d be sitting across from me looking like I’m some type of thug that robbed them. I know if I saw them in a different area they would look at me crazy.

It made me have to take responsibility, to say if I want it then I have to dig down deep and do it. It’s so much easier now to educate yourself, research, and put the work in to accomplish what you want to accomplish, because we have access to the internet that can bring a lot of that information to us.

My advice is to take it serious and take on every opportunity you can to research, and find out more about what you want to accomplish. It’s not going to fall in your lap, I promise you, it’s not that easy.

These 20 years coming up on Slip-n-Slide there have been some ups and downs, but when I fell down I got back up. I continued to dig and write hard to find new artists, and help them accomplish what they wanted to accomplish. Dig down deep and don’t give up on what’s in your heart that you want to do, because no one is going to give it to you.

CLICK HERE to get more information on the Ted Lucas Foundation at TedLucasFoundation.com

By: Dove
—

As the wife of controversial rapper DMX, Tashera Simmons has been in the media spotlight for years, whether she liked it or not. When the currently estranged couple took public exposure to the next level by joining the cast of VH1′s reality show Couples Therapy, they had no idea where the journey would take them.

Tashera has been opening up recently about her troubled relationship, which has spanned over two decades, through teen marriage and a six-year separation. Inspired by her own journey, Simmons is penning a book to lend strength from her experiences to other women.

Marred by verbal abuse, Tashera’s life has definitely been a struggle, but is mental/emotional abuse any worse than physical abuse? Did friends or family ever tell her to get out? What makes a woman stay with someone who is abusive to them? What advice would Tashera give to anyone who is coping with similar challenges in their relationship?

Read on as Tashera Simmons tells UrbLife.com about the long battle to survive abuse, and why faith and love for herself has ultimately won the war.

You have made a huge decision in putting your relationship challenges out in the public with this show. Talk to us a little about that decision, and why you felt it was important for you and DMX to do this for yourselves.

Tashera Simmons: Well, to be honest with you, he’s the one who approached me with the show. I didn’t want to do it at first because I already know… We were separated for six years when he asked me to do it, and I was already on my way out the door. Like, I was so happy in the place that I was, and I didn’t feel like getting on TV because I already know how he can be, and I didn’t want to humiliate myself anymore than I feel like he has already in the public.

But he called back the following week, he said he had a lot to talk about and he was going to be good. So I prayed on it, and I thought about it, and a lot of women in that week would just come up to me or Facebook me and say they were so inspired by my story, my strength and how I did it. I am in such a good place…

I know I was in an abusive situation, but for a long time I didn’t feel that it was, because it wasn’t physical. But after being out of the situation for six years, I realized that I was in a mental and verbally abusive relationship, and I made it out with my mind, my sanity. It’s just hard to be in a relationship like that, and then it was just triple hard to be in a public relationship and someone that’s a celebrity. And to endure and get through all of that with flying colors, and I never had a breakdown…

I’m always positive, always trying to help other people, I’m like the therapist for all of my friends. I felt like I was anointed in this area from God. I felt like I needed to go on TV. I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew there was a chance that what you saw [in the debut episode] would happen, and I felt like I could help other women, and that they could learn from my situation.

[Throughout the series] it’s going to unravel. I only went on there at first to inspire other women and to get a check, I would be lying if I didn’t say that! [laughs] I was hoping not to expose too much, but I knew the chances that I was taking, and at the end of the day I didn’t feel I was going to come off as the bad guy, and I felt it was worth the shot.

With the mental and emotional abuse, I’ve been through it before. I know a lot of women have been, and sometimes it is hard to rationalize when you are in the middle of it, because you are so in love you don’t realize is that these words are just killing you inside consistently.

How did you come out of it with your sanity?

TS: You know what? To be honest with you, the love I just have for myself. It was my kids that really really helped me, ‘cause I was just sitting in it, feeling sorry. Me and X met at 11, we got together when we were 18, and he was never really that bad [then] as he was throughout the years.

When he got into the industry is when he got worse, his drug problem got worse, attitude. It started taking everything out of me. And I knew it wasn’t me. It was like no one was saying “no” except me. Everyone was saying “yes” and I was saying “no”. So he just started spazzing on me, and it didn’t matter who he did it in front of.

I don’t know if you are spiritual, but I never turned to drugs, I don’t even drink. How I got out of it? I started calling my pastor. I said, “This has got to be a demon,” because he really did a 360 on me. When he got into the industry, I was just like, “This isn’t the person I fell in love with.”

When that [explosion] happened that first [episode of the series] it brought back so many memories because… I don’t play around. Once I told him I didn’t want to deal with him anymore, and he can call the nannies and he could call my oldest son or whoever to get in touch with the kids, but I didn’t want to have anything to do with him I meant that.

It was hard. I went through two years of just… I was depressed, but at the same time I was in church every Saturday, Bible study every Tuesday, like I went hard for God once I told him it was over, and that’s what gave me the strength. It was God’s hold that gave me the strength to come out of it and say, “Tashera, you deserve better and you can’t help this man. He doesn’t even love himself, because I know there is no way you can love somebody and treat them like that and talk to them like that, in front of the kids.”

Did you have friends or family that stepped in and said, “I don’t like how he treats you”?

TS: I was abandoned as a child and I raised my brothers and sisters, so I was like the mother, so one of my sisters would always [ask] me, “Why did you do it? You don’t deserve this.” To be honest I never talk to girlfriends like that. I just watch other people’s relationships and it’s like… I’m the type of person, I have to take my own advice.

I don’t want to throw X under the bus, because I still say to this day the good outweighs the bad, because we had a lot of good times. It’s just the bad was bad where days would just be like, “This shit ain’t worth it,” but I never really talked about it with girlfriends because they weren’t any better…Not saying they were in abusive relationships, but you know how you have to go learn on your own?

There could be an element too where people were looking at his celebrity and were scared to tell you.

TS: You’re right, because I wouldn’t get it at all. The only people who would say something was my sister, like my family members and it would be very light. Now I can speak openly about it, because the first episode [of Couples Therapy] is out. I don’t want to give too much away. You see how Angelina [Pivarnick] and Vienna [Girardi] were sitting in a room and he just busted out with that? It was pretty much like that – sometimes with family or friends – where people would just be like “Ok, that was unnecessary.”

A lot of [his behavior] came I think with his drug addiction. Because when he’s totally sober, remember that was the first day they showed [in the debut episode] where he was aggravated by numerous things. He couldn’t drink, he couldn’t smoke, he couldn’t do a lot of stuff.

So he was just aggravated, and then he just kinda spazzed out… even with the part: “You knew I never wanted to get married”. He’s never said that to me before.

I’m not just saying that, he’s not the type of guy for you to get him to do what he doesn’t want to do. You can’t make that man do anything he doesn’t want to do. That wasn’t just for fun or for TV, it was just like I’m not fighting fire with fire. I felt like I’m not getting ready to go there with him. Because it would only escalate and got worse, and it was like I don’t really care at this point.

When you’re use to so much verbal battering you do get immune to it. After a while it’s just like “you know whatever, ok” A normal person would react by fighting back. An abused person would just sit there and like “Keep it coming. What else, what else, what else?”

TS: You’re right, I’m telling you! I haven’t been around him six years when we went there, and in my brain I was like, “Yo Tashera, this shit is crazy!” I’ve been living a normal life for six years, and then to come back to that, it took a lot for me not to say anything, but I knew it might’ve went somewhere else and I’m not about to play myself like that.

What is some personal advice you would give someone who is in a verbal mentally/emotionally abusive relationship about how to stay positive, keep their sanity, and how to get out of it?

TS: You know what? A woman that’s in it, you just have to walk away for real. Now me, and this is because I’m not in it anymore…I didn’t know I was making the right decision when I walked away. I just did it because I was just like, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” But now, after walking away, I would definitely recommend a woman who’s in a verbally abusive relationship that you have to think about yourself and your self worth.

First of all, I would thought [at the time] if I spoke out I figured they would say I’m a “bitter ex-wife” because of everything that happened. Everyone was like, “X loves Tashera to death,” and I think he does love me to death, but you don’t talk to somebody that you love like that. I don’t know what kind of love he has for me or maybe he just doesn’t love himself.

You’ve got to see how everything unravels [on Couples Therapy]. X has a lot of issues, I mean a lot of issues… I do love him as a friend, but I’m not in love with him anymore. Once I got out of that relationship, I was just like “I will never ever do that to myself again.” But at 18-years-old… Had I came on with him at 25 or 30, I don’t think I would have put up with that.

[In our taping] he actually does apologize in tears. But I don’t know if they are trying to show what I’ve dealt with for years, and then show how I turned it around.

I will say from a viewer’s perspective that they will, because that is good television. Knowing what you’ve been through, some viewers are going want to know that he did apologize or we might hate him, you know? And we want to get apologies.

TS: That’s what I’m saying. I was like, “Damn, I hope they don’t do him that bad” because he actually did [apologize]. It’s just so much damage already. I just was over it, but I would definitely tell women in that situation to know yourself worth and don’t deal with that.

What have you personally taken away from the experience with this show – whether you have resolved some things, closed some doors, or even just bettered your self-worth and knowing you were right about the decisions you’ve made?

TS: You said it all. I def had closure doing the show. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, because I dealt with X over half of my life. I met him when I was 18 – I’m 41 right now –  I was with him half of my life, so what it was the best thing that ever happen to me doing that show, because I thought I was over that situation, but when I got back I did the therapy and got a lot out. I took closure and it was a new Tashera that left there, trust me. It was life-changing.

I’m honored that you took your time to talk to us about such an important issue, because I grew up in a cycle of abuse. My mother and grandmother were abused physically, and I wasn’t abused physically, but I was abused mentally and emotionally… and I can’t tell you which one is worse.

TS: I asked a woman, a counselor, and she said both. But for some reason I feel like the mental and verbal is, because those usually scar women, where at least with the physical it goes away… but who the hell wants to be beat?

I don’t feel being with anyone right now, because I need to get me right first. But I haven’t lost hope, I don’t think I’m ever going to meet somebody like X. I think he’s definitely one of a kind. He’s like a charmer, at the same time he’s like a demon. I’ll tell you one thing I learned from this, I know how to spot somebody like him if they do come into my life!

Follow Tashera Simmons on Twitter @TasheraSimmons

Watch Tashera Simmons on Couples Therapy, which airs on VH1 every Wednesday at 9pm EST / 8pm CST

CLICK HERE to learn more about VH1′s Couples Therapy and watch full episodes at VH1.com

By: Dove
—
Here is the full trailer for the 2012 remake of Sparkle, which very sadly marks Whitney Houston‘s final big screen role. Fortunately, we do get to experience Whitney’s incredible voice in this tale of three sisters from Harlem, New York who struggle to make the big time as singers.

American Idol champion Jordin Sparks stars in her first major role as Sparkle, alongside British actress Carmen Ejogo (Pride and Glory, The Brave One) as the troubled Sister, and Tika Sumpter (Gossip Girl, Think Like a Man) as Delores.

Male stars in the film include Derek Luke, Omari Hardwick, Mike Epps, Cee-Lo Green, and veteran actors Michael Beach (ER, Waiting to Exhale) and Curtis Armstrong (Ray, Revenge of the Nerds). Terrence Jenkins aka Terrence J from BET’s 106 & Park also makes an appearance.

Sparkle is directed by Salim Akil (Girlfriends, Jumping the Broom). His wife, writer/producer Mara Brock Akil (Girlfriends, Cougar Town) is responsible for updates on the screenplay along with original co-writer Howard Rosenman.

As you may know, the Akils also write and direct the television series The Game, which has featured appearances from Tika Sumpter, Michael Beach, Curtis Armstrong and Terrence J over the course of five seasons. Additionally, Beach co-starred with Whitney Houston in the classic relationship movie Waiting to Exhale, and there are probably several more close degrees of separation with this cast if you really look into it.

That said, I’ll be expecting some tight on-screen chemistry with this film! Watch the Sparkle trailer below and let us know if you’ll be hitting theaters this Summer!

By: Adam Bernard
—
Now that everyone in Generation X has officially crossed the age 30 milestone, there are certain drinks that we should never be seen holding again. If you happened to be over the age of 40, consider this a serious intervention, because I’m about to tell you something your friends want you to know, but won’t bring up to your face. Oh, make no mistake, they joke about it behind your back.

Quite frankly, if you’re still sipping any of the following drinks, you’ve earned that mocking fair and square.

1. Flavored malt beverages

I refer to anything in this assortment of drinks as Fisher Price “My First Alcoholic Beverage.” They all have twist off tops, but in reality should be outfitted with pacifiers, as no one without the suffix “teen” in their age should be caught drinking them.

We get it, everyone needs a starter drink, but there’s no reason to keep the training wheels on. When the kids playing beer pong are looking down on what you’re drinking, and they’re gulping down beer that’s had a dirty ping pong ball floating in it that has also possibly been in a dog’s mouth, you should figure out it’s time to move on.

2. Hard Lemonade

Hard lemonade was a great alcoholic beverage of choice when you were a frat boy looking to get a sorority girl drunk, but once you’ve stopped wearing Greek letters on a hoodie, you need to let the hard lemonade go. Some may even argue you should not be drinking it in college at all.

There is one hard lemonade company that recently ran an ad campaign claiming hard lemonade is a good way to “switch up your tailgate party.” Let me tell you the truth about that. The only thing it’s going to switch up is whether or not they let you into the stadium… and they rightfully should not.

3. Mixed shots / Jello shots

If you’re ordering shots at age 30+, said shot should contain no more than one word, like tequila, rum or vodka, unless it’s a brand name. Creative names for shots usually mean it’s a concoction with very little alcohol, and a whole lot of nonsense. And ladies, while it was cute to order a “blowjob” shot when you were 21, it’s just plain sad at 31, and horribly desperate at 41.

Jello shots fall under the same umbrella. As an aside, if you have enough room in your fridge to store Jello shots, it’s another sign that your life might not be quite on track. Make your shots real, or don’t have shots at all.

4. Anything that looks like it glows in the dark

There was a time when we enjoyed ordering spirits that required bartenders to mix strange, and often trendy, bottles of alcohol to create oddly named digestible glow sticks. Quick question – have you been to a rave recently? If not, it’s time to the leave anything that resembles a rave in a glass alone as well.

The next time you order an Incredible Hulk it should either be a movie ticket, or a toy for your kid.

5. Flavored Martinis

At some point a bartender decided that martinis tasted too much like martinis, and started throwing other things in them so people who were lightweights could hold martini glasses and feel trendy. This gave birth to such abominations as the apple-tini and the choco-tini.

Guess what? Neither of those concoctions, or their numerous spinoffs, are actually martinis. Acceptable martini ingredients are gin or vodka, and vermouth. That’s it! If you’re adding anything else to it, please subtract yourself from the bar.

6. Forties

A lot of us cracked forties back in the day, but at a certain point in time you need to realize there’s no need to have 40 oz of anything at once. The notion that your alcoholic beverage needs to be the size of a Super Big Gulp is crazy! A simple bottle or can of beer is easier to hold, and won’t get warm, which forties tend to do unless you drink them really quickly.

You’re not in a 1992 rap video. Get over it.

7. Any drink you have to chug

Drinks like the Irish Car Bomb were invented for two reasons – to get you wasted as quickly as possible, and to make bars a ton of money. It’s really kind of genius, a drink that the bartender knows you have to finish in ten seconds or it will be ruined. You have no choice but to come back immediately afterward to order something different. That way, the bar makes more money, and the bartender has doubled the amount of tips he’s made from you and your buddies.

The moral of the story is that you should be smarter than that now. Someone who is approaching or hitting middle age should never have the chant of “chug” ringing in their ears.

By: Dove
—
Ty Hodges has one of those faces that you will swear you have seen before… you know, that finger snapping moment you get when you know someone looks just so familiar? Fact is, you probably have seen him, acting either on television or film since his career in Hollywood began over 15 years ago.

Also an accomplished writer, director and producer, Hodges made a splash with his 2006 independent film Miles From Home. The story revolves around a young man attempting to survive a series of tragedies and questionable choices, and co-stars Meagan Good, Tasha Smith and Cory Hardrict.

Hodges followed suit with the good-girl-gone-bad movie Video Girl, also starring Meagan Good, which premiered on BET in late 2011. He is currently celebrating a new distribution situation for You, Me & the Circus, which Ty directed, co-wrote, co-produced and co-starred in. The relationship-driven story weaves real life drama into a fantasy musical, and will be available On Demand this Summer.

UrbLife.com spoke with Ty Hodges about his work behind the scenes, and how his incredible focus is bringing him closer to his goal of reaching cinema lovers around the world. Read on…

Tell us a little about a day in your life, and about your process for creating.

Ty Hodges: The process of me being a creative producer and coming up with an idea is something that I’m passionate about, and once that develops, I approach to taking that concept to the page, and it develops to a television script or film script. After that, most of the time if I’m writing it, I plan on directing and producing it.

I have the project and then I go out and make the pieces of the puzzle fit, find the actors and the funds. The life of a producer, there are a lot of different kinds of producers. I’m there from the beginning to the end.

How do you take yourself from real life influence to the fantasy aspect of a story?

TH: I think I have that element in my films because I grew up on stage, and I grew up in the arts. You know growing up doing plays, I may be 12, but I’m dressing up like an old man or playing an animal. Playing all of these things as a kid, your imagination is just expanded. I try to relate as a human being no matter what subculture I’m focusing on. It’s having the outlet to bring that mystical world.

At the end of the day, everyone is creative in that having an active imagination, they just don’t know where to put it at. For me, it’s kind of fun to bring that edge to films, rather than to have a big concept. It doesn’t have to be like some crazy story to infuse the unknown. Especially in my films, I love dealing with the spiritual realms and what we’re not seeing.

When writing your characters, do you use real people that you know as the models?

TH: Yeah, with Miles From Home I actually interviewed teenage prostitutes about how the streets worked for them, to try to understand their world. On You, Me & the Circus, my co-writer kind of had a similar experience, so everything we were writing was reflecting on his experiences so that we could shoot the experience of being in a circus.

I’m inspired every day with so much around me. The most positive things are to hear from a stranger, and if it inspires me deeply, then I kind of revolve it around that. I think with everything you have to do your own research for it to come from an honest place. There are creations all around us, it’s just unique how we find it and how it comes to us.

I’m not trying to be intrusive on people’s lives, I don’t want to do biopics on them, yet that may be something that I want to do in the future. I can create where I was basically, directly inspired by a character or a person.

What are the steps that you take to avoid being stereotyped in Hollywood?

TH: I’m not so much against being an urban filmmaker, more so than just being stamped urban. I’m thankful to be West Indian in my roots, because I like to expand beyond color and having a family to move to the United State of America to start a better life. That’s always going to run in my veins, so I’m always going to want more than just being a Black man in America. I’m always going to step out and be fearless with my voice.

I think for me, I’m not trying to do anything but be me and be honest in my creativity. I don’t ever want to be limited when it comes to labeling my work. I never try to cast my movies with an idea of what the race is, I just try to tell you a story. Black, Chinese, White, Spanish, we’re all human beings and that’s what I care about. We’re all human beings.

Do I see that there is a void in our community with cinema? Of course I do, and I want to contribute to that, but at the same time I want those stories so that we all can have a voice. That’s what really gets me off and has me excited about being a filmmaker, I want to expand beyond our race and just have a voice.

If I do that and do it unapologetically, then I’m always going to do that, and I don’t think that pigeon-holes me into a certain type of filmmaker. I don’t think that’s in my deck of cards. I’m still into experimental art. I just like to be free and honest. I want it to be where everyone doesn’t have to be put in a box.

What’s the best advice you give people who want to follow your footsteps?

TH: I just say be fearless, be true to yourself, and always have integrity. Anyone that wants to step into this business, they inspire me, because it’s such a business about patience and discipline. I’m just grateful and inspired to be in a business amongst all of these creative beings.

So someone wanting to come up in it should take a good like inside themselves. Never have to ask what your passion is. You just have to be patient with it and get all of the pieces in order to produce and get it out there. I would tell people younger than me that I’m still learning, and what I know now is to have faith, be fearless, be honest, but have integrity too.

What can people expect in the next year or so from you?

TH: I have a new movie that I’m working on; different than my other movies. Even going through the writing process I’ve learned so much. I realized that if I wanted my films to have more exposure, then I need bigger concepts. I’m getting into television, it’s a learning process for me. I hope things that I do inspire people to speak on what’s going on in the world. We’re all going through the same thing, it’s just [about] if we’re bold enough to walk in it.

Miles From Home trailer

You, Me & the Circus trailer

Find out more about Ty Hodges on his official site TyHodges.com

Follow Ty on Twitter @MrTyHodges, and like his Facebook page

CLICK HERE for the Miles From Home official site MilesFromHomeTheMovie.com
CLICK HERE for You, Me & the Circus official site YMCmovie.com

By: Chris “Po” Porter, M.S.P.
–
As January 1 approaches each new year, millions of people commit to making new personal goals, projects, or habits. These resolutions vary, from writing a book to losing weight to putting down those cigarettes, all with the best of intentions.

However, according to “Innovation Evangelist” Stephen Shapiro, out of the 45% of Americans who set New Year’s Resolutions each year, studies show only 8% of people are successful in achieving their resolutions. On the low end, one in four people never reach their goals, ever.

If you are one of the 8% who always achieve their resolutions every year, I would like to commend you and say bravo! For those having difficulties achieving your goals only two months in to the New Year, here are 7 ways to refocus and work toward your resolutions.

1. Ask Why?

Remind yourself why you made the resolutions. Was it made to improve your well-being, family or community? Your reasons should be used as motivation and fuel to keep you pushing towards your goals every day.

2. Visualize

The first step in goal completion is achieving the goal in your mind. Constantly mediate and envision yourself completing the resolution you set. Think about how good you will feel once you’re at the finish line! The more detailed the visual image; the better chance you have of completing the objective.

3. Create a Plan

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! Using a good old fashioned pen and paper, write down the ways you plan on achieving the resolution. What are you doing differently from last year? How much time will you assign to the goal weekly?

4. Take Action

Visualization and goal planning are nothing without a-c-t-i-o-n. Rule number one is: move your feet and get to work! Many people say they want to improve, but fail to make any physical steps to reach the goal. Don’t be one of these people. Take action towards your goal today, right now!

5. Hustle Hard

Closed mouths don’t get fed on this boulevard! Regardless of the resolution, change is hard work. You must have the willpower and dedication to complete your goal. Are you willing to make the sacrifices needed to accomplish your goal?

6. Get a Support System

You are the company you keep. When setting a goal, it’s important to examine the circle you hang with. Are they enabling or disabling you towards reaching your goal?

7. Reward Yourself

When making notable progress towards your goal, feel free to reward yourself with a treat that does not go against your resolution. For instance, if your resolution was to quit smoking, treating yourself to a pack of Newports would be a bad idea. Instead, you should treat yourself to a nice outfit or vacation with all that money you save!

Keep reaching for those goals, and stay positive!

We all recognized the Seavers had kids, but did anyone actually imagine romantic interludes between the Growing Pains parental units? I mean, other than right now, because you just read those words… my apologies if I burned the image of Alan Thicke and Joanna Kerns bumping and grinding into your brain.

Now we have moms we actually like to imagine in the sack – no disrespect intended to Maggie Seaver. In fact, some fictional moms are actresses we used to crush on as kids, which means there’s absolutely nothing Oedipal about appreciating the beauty of UrbLife.com’s top hot TV moms from the past few years.

1. Sophia Vergara (b. 1972)
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett on Modern Family

Holy Jesus flippin Christmas! Sophia Vergara doesn’t just qualify as a hot TV mom, the Colombian stunner qualifies as one of the most beautiful women on the planet. A lot of women may take one look at her and say “Hey, they should have cast a more realistic looking mother,” but guess what? She’s a mother in real life, too. In fact, her son is turning 20 this year.

If this is a modern day wife, I’m looking to get married ASAP!

2. Megyn Price (b. 1971)
Claudia Finnerty on Grounded For Life

Grounded For Life was one of the most under-appreciated sitcoms in recent memory, and one of the many reasons to take a second look at it is Megyn Price. Okay, judging by this picture of her, maybe that’s two reasons to take a second look.

The cool thing about Price’s character was that she wasn’t just pretty, she was snarky, funny, and overall very cool. If you thought she looked a little young to have a teenager you’re not wrong, she was only 12 years older than the actress that played her daughter.

3. Laura Leighton (b. 1968)
Ashley Marin on Pretty Little Liars

In the mid ’90s there was an apartment complex a lot of us would have loved to take up residence in, and that was Melrose Place. Leighton played Sydney Andrews on the show, but recently she has a new role, playing Hanna Marin’s mom on ABC Family’s hit show Pretty Little Liars.

On PLL she’s actually a pretty good mom. She protects her daughter and does her best as a single parent. Heck, she’s even taken in Hanna’s friends at different points in time. All that and she still manages to stay hot. That’s quite the feat!

4. Nia Peeples (b. 1961)
Pam Fields on Pretty Little Liars

Nicole from Fame is all growsed up, and 22 years after her first appearance on the classic ’80s show she’s now the mom of a lesbian swim champ on Pretty Little Liars. At first her character didn’t take the news very well that her daughter, Emily, preferred girls, but she’s come around to it, and even let her stay in town when the rest of the family had to move.

Peeples is proving that true beauty can live forever in TV land.

5. Melinda Clarke (b. 1969)
Julie Cooper-Nichol on The O.C.

Proving that this is a list of hot moms, and not good moms, we have Melinda Clarke. Her character on The O.C. slept with her eldest daughter’s ex-boyfriend, and sent another one of the same daughter’s ex-boyfriends on a murder mission to Mexico.

Clearly her maternal instincts were lacking, but she certainly looked good while being bad. It’s not like she needed to seduce her daughter’s ex-boyfriend, as he was the one who approached her, along with countless others.

6. Jean Louisa Kelly (b. 1972)
Kim Warner on Yes, Dear

In an otherwise forgettable show we were given a mom worth remembering. Jean Louisa Kelly is the sole reason anyone should tune in to reruns of Yes, Dear. Her character’s kids weren’t exactly teenagers, which gives her the advantage of being a young mom, but I’ve seen young TV moms before, and they weren’t all this good looking.

There was one episode of Yes, Dear, that featured an I Dream of Jeannie outfit that was… well, let’s just say she fit into it quite nicely.

7. Drea de Matteo (b. 1972)
Gina Tribbiani on Joey

Speaking of forgettable shows, the Friends spinoff Joey was a disaster in more ways than anyone can count. One of the lone positive aspects of the show was that it featured Sopranos starlet Drea de Matteo as Joey’s sister, who happened to have a grown son from a teen pregnancy.

In an ironic twist, this show was dragged out into the woods and shot just like de Matteo’s character on The Sopranos.

Honorable Mention

Sarah Michelle Gellar (b. 1977)
Siobhan Martin and Bridget Kelly on Ringer

Sarah Michelle Gellar gets an honorary nod, because between her two characters on Ringer there is some motherhood involved, although it’s very confusing to explain. Both of her characters have been a stepmom at some point, and one of her characters had a son who died in a car accident. So technically neither character is a full mom right now, but they’ve both had motherhood duties.

Also, I’ve loved SMG since Buffy, and I was going to find a way to get her on this list.

Let us know if you have any sexy Gen-X TV moms to add to this list!